Thoughts on the Bluenoses

Simon Wright says it's jolly decent of the Bulls to come to him for a change as he doesn't live too far from St Andrews.

In decades gone by, this trip would undoubtedly be a tin hat job. The mean terraced streets, post war bombsites and empty factories were only matched in their ugliness by the behaviour of Birmingham followers. Both the surroundings and the supporters have been gentrified – so much has changed since United’s last visit in the mid- 1990’s. New housing estates have sprung up, smart 4 and 5 bedroom houses with some poncy title involving the word “village” - not likely to be the sort of village than the average Herefordshire would recognise. Close to one side of the ground is a retail park – headed up by a Morrisons store. You’re far less likely nowadays to be given any grief by the Bluenoses – that said even now its sensible to avoid all the local pubs. Hereford are hardly a threat but even so their territory is their territory. Curiously the local pubs have all escaped any attempt at modernisation. (There are bars inside the ground for the alcohol-needy).

There’s another very visible sign of the reputation of the locals. The away end abuts a secure compound with huge fences – maybe fifteen foot or even higher. I’ve visited every club in the top two Divisions and none of them feel such a Colditz-like structure is necessary. Your tickets are checked at the closely guarded compound entrance. Once inside, its expected you stay there. Coaches are driven straight in and their occupants will enter the ground and go nowhere else. For this privilege, each coach is charged £50 for League matches. After the match, there’s a separate exit to a quiet side street … which remains locked. Visitors who don’t travel by coach are forced out onto the main Coventry Road with the thousands of exiting Brummies. To be fair, I’m not aware of any incidents for some years yet this remains the obvious flash point.

Blues are renowned for their infamous pricing structure. They want every last penny from their faithful and if seats are empty, the now departing regime will complain to the press. For their first home Premier League game this season, 5,000 seats remained unsold, Brummies reluctant to pay £35 to see Sunderland. For the really big clubs, £40 or £45 minimum tickets are not unknown. City always argue that they attempt to price each match on its merits and do regularly offer deals for less appealing fixtures. As a result, they’ve almost got two different sets of supporters – one audience only turning out when the price is right. We need to be frank here – the visit of a small Fourth Division club in the League Cup has no appeal to Bluenoses. But that’s a positive - City will have to price accordingly. £10 maximum for adults (pretty much de rigeur for all local big clubs in the League Cup) – they may possibly go as low as a fiver and kids for a quid, low prices that have had quite a response in years gone by. Think about it, a local Premiership ground for less than the cost of a home Fourth Division match. You’ve got to be there.

Don’t expect a Birmingham first team. Like most Premier League sides, if they could exit the competition quietly and without embarrassment, they would do it. League points are far more valuable. Hereford will be up against squad players from around the world (the ones who only cost £500k or £1 million perhaps), the latest Arsenal loanee and a few hopeful youngsters. The theory goes that these also-rans will be out to impress the manager. Sometimes… and there lies the hope … those squad players already know they are not regular first team choices and will coast disinterestedly through the 90 minutes. Not too likely with the manager to hand (an embarrassing scoreline will be a stick to beat him with) and an impatient home crowd but there’s a chance. (Oh for a Richard O’Kelly United side – Blues really wouldn’t like it up ‘em)

Oh yes, the home crowd. A few years back, the ‘Noses did rival Pompey but deadened by the gentility of the Premier League, don’t expect anything. Premier League crowds are like theatre audiences. They sit back and wait to be entertained. They don’t create their own amusements. United’s best chance is to go at the home side. Attack them on the ground. Pass the ball. Look like they know what they are doing. Its not in the script. Twenty minutes of that and the St Andrews mob will be restless and moaning. Always highly amusing.

Hereford can’t actually lose this game. Regardless of the score, Birmingham can’t really win it. Let’s go and make them squirm.

Birmingham City versus Hereford United Carling Cup Second Round Tuesday August 28th 7.45pm.

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