City Slippers

South Shields, Darlington, Chorley, Oxford. It’s like one of those multiple-choice tests where one answer is utterly daft, the sort of multiple-choice test that gave me a marginally better chance of passing some GCSEs: ‘Which of these isn’t northern?’

Hereford FC host Oxford City in a match-up between two archetypal northern English powerhouses on Tuesday evening in the National League North, under the historic floodlights that have beckoned supporters from miles around to the hallowed Edgar Street turf for decades. Like a rusting bell that has called the faithful to prayer over centuries, even such established fixtures of the matchday experience face obsolescence eventually, and this will be one of the final times we get to enjoy the hit-and-miss nature of the mythical bulbs as they spasm on and off when they feel like it, like a lazy lighthouse.

The script was written for Hereford to go into this one on fire, like a lighthouse whose lighthouseman has been a bit careless with the brightness setting on his light, but a bad day at the office was endured on Saturday, with the Bulls shipping three goals to Chester.

Prior to that, things were ticking along nicely, and a couple of eminently winnable home games this week, with Marine following this one as the visitors on Saturday, are just what’s needed to get back on track. Paul Caddis wants six points from those two games, and as such, and as ever, accurately reflects what the supporters want. Thinking about it, you’d have to be a bit nuts if you wanted anything less than six points from the two games, unless you had some sort of disloyal vested interest courtesy of the prediction league.

The visitors, in contrast, haven’t really been ticking along nicely, and sit just three points above the drop zone. Mystic Meg I certainly am not (and arguably neither was Mystic Meg otherwise she wouldn’t have had to continue to schlep nonsense for a living prior to the lottery thing every weekend) but in this space pre-season I did, in reference to City, say that if they’re ‘able to adapt to the rigours of the NLN to any extent and aren’t still wandering around the pitch like shellshocked zombies at Christmas following a few ‘welcome to hell’ challenges in matches up to that point they’ll be doing well’.

On that front they’ve struggled, unsurprisingly, following relegation from the National League; the NLN is an unforgiving division. Their seasonal start was atrocious, and was indeed one of shellshocked zombies getting shot in the head time after time by streetwise northerners (shot in the head, stake through the heart - not sure what the correct approach is vis a vis zombies and vampires), but they’ve started to get their act together lately as they acclimatise to the fact that this season isn’t going to be any sort of chummy picnic with Chippenham, Weston-super-Mare or some other southern softy. They’ve won a couple of their last four games, and drew at home on Saturday with in-form Southport. Only 500 punters turned up for that game, which is really not many for a side that was recently operating at a level higher. The consensus locally though is that they’re ‘improving with every game’.

Energetic and talented midfielder Tom Scott has been instrumental in that improvement following his September arrival, after spells with Banbury and Kettering.

They’ve actually scored more goals than Kings Lynn and Curzon Ashton, who are in third and fourth positions in the table respectively, but only Needham Market are leakier at the other end, if you’ll pardon the expression.

That leakiness will be music to the ears of returning Bulls striker Jason Cowley. A goal on his return to action at home would be some compensation for the frustration he must have been feeling since his pre-season injury. Whether his match fitness is sufficient for an actual start here is debatable, but he should play some part.

Aaron Skinner and Preston Bitemo are out until Christmas at the earliest, and Sammy Robinson continues his suspension, otherwise Paul Caddis has a relatively fit and healthy squad from which to find the winning formula.

As with Orrin Pendley a couple of seasons ago, sides are figuring out that Matt Preston has many strengths (one of which is being a magnificent defender – he’s been a superb signing), but a Hoddle-esque range of pinpoint passes isn’t one of them. He’s being allowed all the time he needs when in possession as a result, so why not allow him to just amble forward with the ball and give it short when he gets dizzy, rather than hoofing it from the back and cheaply surrendering possession, or just carrying on all the way up the pitch a la George Weah, as the opposition parts in confusion like the Red Sea waiting for a long punt that never comes, and scoring a goal for the ages? Did the Red Sea part in confusion? My Biblical knowledge is as rusty as my horror film heads/hearts thing.

With the opposition seemingly starting to find their feet, this won’t be straightforward like Farsley was, but it’s nevertheless a good opportunity to add another buttress to Fortress Edgar Street.

COYW