Season Preview - The Opposition

Welcome to the first of a five-part whistlestop tour of Hereford FC’s National League North opponents for the 2023/24 season. Part two to follow tomorrow, and then the remaining parts carry on doing something similar in a fairly predictable way.

Alfreton Town

On a tight budget in front of crowds of 500 if they’re lucky, Alfreton comfortably won a place in the play-offs last season, in which they fell at the first hurdle to Kidderminster. It says much about the season Hereford endured in 2022/23 that they finished 14 points behind the Reds, who, perhaps through necessity, are very, very one-dimensional and no strangers to the dark arts and skullduggery that pollute the National League North. Hopefully one positive sign of the Paul Caddis effect will be that his team won’t act like rabbits caught in headlights when confronted by such a side.

As far as I can tell, 39-year-old Matt Rhead will be back refereeing the game for the Reds at Edgar Street for at least one more season, and ex-Bull Kennedy Digie will add a bit of quality, although it’s yet another new club for the defender, whose nomadic tendencies look to be adversely affecting any career progression. Alongside Ken at the back will be Harry Perritt, signed from Altrincham having played 21 times for Alty in the division above last season.

Experienced striker Ryan Taylor and midfielder Declan Howe look like useful recruits. Taylor most recently played for Grimsby Town in the Football League, whilst Howe joins from Darlington.

Goalkeeper George Willis is a complete embarrassment in terms of his timewasting, there’s not really any more polite way to describe his approach to the game than that, but unless there’s been a refereeing directive that’s passed me by in the summer he’ll have carte blanche to continue this season to take the proverbial. If he takes any satisfaction from such a cynical approach to his sport good luck to him. He’s not alone of course.

Banbury United

When I saw the headline ‘Mark Jones is the new Banbury manager’ on Bulls News in June I was naturally flattered and couldn’t wait to get started, to talk about assembling a ‘group’ ‘buzzing’ with determination and willing to ‘run through brick walls’ for me. I was slightly alarmed that I couldn’t remember applying, before realising that it referred to someone who wasn’t me.

That someone is the replacement for departed Andy Whing, many Bulls fans’ idea of the ideal replacement for Josh Gowling last season. Whing announced in the summer that he was leaving the club having enjoyed a hugely successful spell with them, before resurfacing at Solihull.

Ex-Bull Simeon Maye joined the Puritans in the summer, as did Jack Davies, who joins the club after ten years at MK Dons.

The curious thing about Banbury is that they seem to have a modestly sized fanbase, but one that is disproportionately highly populated by horrible little wannabe hooligan guttersnipes. Maybe it was just a freaky one-off last season given that Hereford home and away was presumably their cup final, I don’t know, but if it’s something this season that delays certain home supporters’ smooth post-match return to the Oxford Arms the natives may get restless. A visit from Millwall shouldn’t get in the way of that smooth transition from ground to pub, so I’d imagine Banbury’s little attention seekers can be managed appropriately – maybe locked into Play Planet for a bit to calm down in the ball pits before being sent home to their mums.

Bishop's Stortford

Hereford, Gloucester, Banbury, Brackley and now Bishop’s Stortford. Find me a list of places more synonymous with northern England than that lot and I’ll be impressed. A handy 271 miles from fellow northerners Blyth, newcomers to the National League North Bishop’s Stortford were presumably somehow mixed up with Bishop Auckland or something when the genius deciding who goes where decided the Blues should go here. A handy one for London Bulls if they can battle their way to the ground through all the flat caps and whippets. They formally complained in the summer about being thrown into the NLN, but predictably their discontent fell on deaf ears. Quite right too. Hereford to Blyth is 278 miles. In all seriousness, this division is still largely part-time and as such some of these distances are crackers, especially for midweek games – surely it’s time for a National League Middle.

Not much else to say about the Hertfordshire club, other than that their shirt sponsor has a logo that looks like what the makers of the sci-fi film Logan’s Run in the 1970s thought the future would look like in 2023. Oh, and to put Hereford’s playing budget into perspective, their squad builder target appears to have been £3500 (no zeros missing). This is the sort of club that would have been guaranteed to have done the double over Josh Gowling’s side last season.

Blyth Spartans

A Houdini act on the final day of last season, when they won 5-0 against a team who didn’t bother to show up, ensured another season in the NLN for Spartans, and presumably another season of struggle. In matches the Bulls have bothered being competitive in against Blyth they’ve got a 100% win rate, so from that perspective, and given that Blyth try to play the right way, it’s good to see them retain their place in the division. JJ O’Donnell is still there and is a big player for them, ie in terms of his footballing influence rather than in being overweight, which he isn’t. Curiously, they’ve now got a JJ Hooper too. Rumours that they’re interested in signing JJ Burnel from The Stranglers are unfounded, or more accurately non-existent as I’ve just made that up for attempted comic effect. Ex Bulls loanee Jack Bodenham looks like a handy acquisition from South Shields in defence, although he’ll presumably be required to change his first name to JJ.

Part two to follow tomorrow just as soon as I can think of something to say about Buxton and Chorley.

COYW