Sunday, April 27, 2008

Twas in the season 07-08

Hereford United supporters have many and varied talents but until this evening they were thought to be without an outstanding poet. Until Larfabull penned the following:

Twas in the season 07-08
In the county of Weston’s and England’s Gate
That a miracle happened, foreseen by so few
And Hereford United went up from League Two

But back in the summer, before the season began
It seemed that Turner was lacking a plan
Players were leaving, oh what a pity
And no-one was coming to our fair city

“Sort it out Turner” was the cry from the forum
If it’s goals we want we need players to score ‘em
Of course the situation was never so dire
That we needed Tim Sills to stay in the Shire

Trial players came and trial players went
From Devon and Derby, and even from Kent
And little by little, with the help of some loans
Turner was able to quieten the moans

And so to the season, would we be flops?
Oh please God let us at least beat the Slops
And Accy and Jester, that would be nice
But please God no Conference, please God not twice

And then we saw Lionel, who could bloody well caper
Pass him the ball, then light the blue touch paper
Theo was quick, and could certainly score
And Big Trev was there, in case we need more

It soon became clear that we were quite able
To take on the best and climb up this table
And then came a break from our everyday deeds
Along came the cup – and Dirty Leeds!

Not for the first time in this legendary season
The nation could think of no good reason
Why little Hereford could do the deed
But they reckoned without Lionel’s great speed

Hartlepool next for the famous giant killers
Then on to Tranmere for a couple of thrillers
If not quite dreaming of Wembley’s arch
Please let us stay in the cup until March

Cardiff ensured that it was not to be
But we gave them a game and now we could see
That against higher opponents we had little to fear
And started to wonder, ‘Could this be our year?’

In the league we kept winning when out on the road
But could our squad cope with a well heavy load?
Lionel was gone, what would we do?
Then Turner unveiled the now-legendary two

From Sarf-End came Hooper, with talent, with speed
A great football brain, a legend indeed
Alongside him the man with the pedigree name
Shergar McDonald, we’re so glad you came

From playoff contenders we started to dream
Of auto promotion for our little team
As team by team were brushed to one side
Then along came the matter of local pride

As off to the New Gay the hordes did travel
And our brave boys did Shrewsburies season unravel
And Gary Peters whined like a pup
As cries rang out – The Whites Are Going Up!

Thanks for the six points you miserable shrew
Now it’s off down the social with a P45 for you
And unlike the slops and their stadium so bright
The future is Hereford – the future is white

With a chance to go top in Dagenham’s fair city
We blew our chance, not that we want any pity
But over the next few games we looked a bit fragile
While Gannon’s County looked more and more agile

At Accy and Mansfield we rode our luck
Were we doomed for playoffs? – Were we ****
The week of death began with a win
Then a point at Franchise, but oh what a sin

To let Posh and their wife-beater party at the Street
The solution was obvious – Brentford to beat
First Wrexham were dispatched to the land of Blue Square
Then Gannon mouths off, but what do we care?

And so to the day when we’d invade the Smoke
‘The Mutha of Invasions’ – Parka has spoke!
And right on cue, out came the sun
To shine down on the righteous in the bus of so-called fun

Our leader had spoken – it’s yellow today
We’ve 800 balloons to fans to give away
Add in the hundreds of shredded yellow pages
And the kick off was delayed for ages and ages

Till roared on by the travelling hordes
The Bulls were soon reaping their deserved rewards
As a move sublime from our reliable trooper
Saw a goal from who else? – Super Gary Hooper

A penalty given, Deano pulled from behind
And up steps Theo, scoring on his mind
He puts it away with clinical ease
Then has to repeat it, oh referee, please!

This time it’s saved, but a goal Theo will get
As two minutes later he hits the back of their net
Dare we hope? Oh please God, please?
And cries ring out for the north London Bees

The second half has hardly begun, were Stockport having a nap?
As Barnet score to shut Gannon’s trap
The joy is unbounded in Griffin Park
This repeated promotion looks a right old lark

And though County score, Barnet’s own Bees
Score again, our promotion to ease
And when Trenty breaks, and Johno scores
The noise, the emotion, out it pours

As the whistle blows and the celebrations flow
It’s up the football league we go!
So as your landlord your next pint pulls
Raise it to Hereford United – The Mighty Bulls!